You never really realize how much you love something until it is gone.  We had to put our wonderful St. Bernard down yesterday due to severe hip dysplasia.  Tucker couldn't get up and walk, and when he tried, his hips gave out from under him.  He was in a lot of pain.  James and I took him to the vet while the boys were at school, and although we all knew it was going to happen, it has been a difficult week.  Not only is it difficult because I miss Tucker, but it is so difficult to listen to the heartache when your child talks about how much they love and miss their dog, how they miss vacuuming up Tucker hair, scooping Tucker poop, and how Tucker was supposed to be there until they moved out of the house.  He was only 4 1/2 years old.  Those of you who know James and I well, know what a change we had to make to welcome that furry friend into our home - dog hair and slobber is not something that either of us tolerate well.  I will miss walking downstairs each morning to a warm welcome from Tucker; our morning walks; the head shake with fur flying everywhere; the slobbery dog dish; the muddy paws from his water hole; and feeding him carrots, apples, and peanut butter treats.

I'd like to think that I'm doing well, but the stress this past week took a toll, making it more difficult to keep the tears from flowing.  My counts dropped before Thursday's chemo treatment so I'll need to continue the Neuprogen shots for three days following each chemo treatment.  The good new is that the doctor thinks I'm doing extremely well and inquired about acupuncture so that he could refer others in treatment.  He also said that I wouldn't need a blood draw or doctor visit for three weeks.  And hair?  I have hair growing on top of my head!  I'm not sure if I should let it grow or keep it trimmed.  Wondering if it will stay with this type of chemo treatment and if it will stay when I start radiation.  I have an acupuncture appointment on Monday and will see the naturopath on Friday, with chemo on Thursday as usual.

Knowing that stress can be a leading health problem, I'm trying to keep the stress from work from invading my recovery.  I'm thankful that I'll have a substitute once a week to help my assistant principal.  And I'm thankful for my husband, family and friends that keep me grounded, remind me to take care of myself, and show me they care in so many thoughtful ways.  Thank you...